The Bitterness of war

War spreads through the galaxy; for most, life goes on. Then there are the few that spend what seems to be an eternity, indulged in military issues and political propaganda. For them, time stands still and has the bitter taste of a beverage gone stagnant. For these are perilous times, no one is safe, and the death tolls of the innocent climb with every bat of an eye; it is the horrid reality, the bitterness of war.

Nearly two months have passed since the first campaign was issued by the Republic. The Senate has congregated daily since the battle broke ground, and had yet to cease its diligence to find a peaceful negotiation to end this brutal war.

As Senator Amidala finishes her daily tributes to the war, she leaves her office and her political persona behind. Once she is safely inside her private confines of her apartment, Padme' finally releases a well - needed sigh of relief. It has been a little more than six weeks, since Anakin left for the campaign in the Tobali System. For Padme', every single day that passed seemed to be an equivalent to a standard month time. Her heart ached for some word of his well being, every day was pure torture as she awaited for the dreaded disk that listed the names of those killed in battle. This was a mandatory procedure amongst the Senators, it kept them aware of the numbers lost and furthered their actions to find a quicker resolution for peace.

Padme' put the datapad aside and walked to her bedroom window. Night had fallen and covered the sky in blackness. Only blinking specs of flickering light shone bright across the vast skyline. Though the view was breathtaking, the constant twinkle only added to Padme's throbbing migraine. Placing one hand firmly on her brow, she could sense that she was with fever. Sighing once more, she tugged at her snug corset. Over the past weeks, not only had her headaches grown, but so had her petite figure. The crushed red velvet of her tightly laced bustier seemed to be worn at the seems. There had been no time to exercise the body or the mind, for every moment was spent on the war, not to mention the Galactic Funding as well. To purchase new garments was out of the question and impossible; she would have to make do with the ensembles she already had.

Shrugging off her self pity, Padme' once again lifted the datapad and sat herself at the edge of her bed. Inserting the disk, she took a deep breath and began to scan and scroll through the alphabetical list. Only tears filled her dark, large and usually inquisitive eyes. Though at this moment, there was no contentment for query; only sadness with a glimmer of hope. As she neared the S's her heart nearly jumped; he was alive.


Tossing the pad on the bed, she stood up and walked over to her vanity. There she opened an elaborate jewelry box, its decorative carvings were richly painted in shimmering silvers and gleaming golds. Inside was something more valuable than the riches or splendor of jewels. Just a single, transparent piece of parchment graced its interior. This was all she had of her husband, besides the jappor snipet that encircled her neck. These were the reminders, both bittersweet and prominently painful in her vivid memory. As she grasped the pendant in one hand, she held tightly to the letter in the other. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she read the words she knew by heart, for she had made it a nightly ritual to read them ever since he left.

" My every thought is of you. My every breath is of your essence. Every word I utter will be laced with your name. Every time my heart beats, a vision of your beautiful face will flash before me. You are, to me, the reason for my sole existence; I love you. Wait for me, I will come back. Always, I promise you."
Anakin

As her jagged breath leaves her fatigued body, she is compelled to sit and rest. Slumping down into her vanitys elegantly styled, matching chair, she is stricken with immense pain surging through her abdominal region. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she is horrified by her pallid appearance. Placing her hands upon her lap, she is overcome with fear. Lifting her hands to her face, she grows faint over the sight of her red palms.Surely, this is just a dream or an ill-figment of her over-worked imagination. " No." she softly whispers as she gets up to search for help. Struck by harsh reality of the severity of her pain, Padme' falls to the plush, purple carpeting of her room. Reaching out with her arms, grating at the floor with her fingernails, she screams in horror "Help Me! Dorme'! Please, help me!!" As her eyes begin to flutter shut and complete darkness starts to consume her, she echoes one more time,
" Help me....please...Anakin! "

Haunted by Love's First Kiss......

As the morning light illuminated through the blackness of night, Anakin sat at an elegant vanity. He was writing a letter of love and sorrow on a delicate piece of scented stationery. His mechanical hand was entangled in his short sandy blonde hair, grating at it as he feverishly jotted down his words on the transparent parchment. Averting his eyes upward, he caught the glimpse of a beatific reflection in the oval framed mirror. The image was mesmerizing, for Padme's blissful beauty was so seraphic that she resembled an angel. Anakin shuddered in sadness looking upon her peaceful sleep. How could he wake her from her pleasant dreams to bring her sorrow and heartbreak? No, he wouldn't. He would allow her to drift away upon her happiness and continue along with her serene slumber.

Anakin forced himself to rise from the chair, his legs were heavy as he trudged over to Padme's bedside. Every breath he took was fiercely jagged and caused his shoulders to tremble and shake. He was in agony. Abandoning her was heart wrenching and leaving him emotionally on the brink of madness. As the early dawn rays seeped through the blinds of the bedroom window, Anakin quickly buried his conflict deep beneath his fragile surface. Reaching over her, he gently laid the delicate note on the pillow next to Padme'. As he did, the aroma of her sweet perfume saturated his senses. Lowering his face to hers, Anakin tenderly kissed her brow. Quickly, he rose and used the Force to compose himself. With Jedi agility, he ran, leaving the premises of 500 Republica, with only a memory of the past echoing in his painful thoughts.
"Go Ani. Never look back."

He ran, swift and nimble, as if he were floating above the firmness below him. Restraining himself from personal grief, he grew buoyant and focused on his impending mission. The Temple halls seemed crowded with bustling Jedi Knights reporting for duty or to the Counsel. As he ran, he neared his destination; his private bunker. Slowing his pace to a quick stroll, he entered the clearance code. The door slid open and Anakin stepped inside, removing his hood and bearing his identity, he quickly stood aside and activated the locking mechanism. Facing the steel frame of the door, he felt uneasy; something was odd and disturbingly suspicious. It was a presence he felt within his room, familiar, though uninvited. Without even turning around for an ocular inspection, he announced the unexpected guest in crude greeting.

"I take it I'm late, once again, Master." Mocked Anakin as he rolled his eyes and smirked smugly at his paternal mentor; Obi-wan Kenobi.

"Must we retort to these basic exercises, Anakin, or shall we move onto more conducive lessons?" Obi-wan reproached Anakin's display of undisciplined demeanor in a tone resembling that of an authoritative figure.

"That depends; are you here to lesson me or to take me with you to the Tobali System and lead the Campaign?" Asked Anakin, standing tall, with a cocky expression on his face.

"It's your attitude that needs instruction, Anakin. Come now, gather your things, we need to report to the landing dock for departure." Instructed Obi-wan, as he turned toward the doorway. Anakin slumped his shoulders as he nodded his head, surrendering himself to disciplined obedience. He shuffled into his small closet and retrieved a clean ensemble of robes. Once he finished, he grabbed his small pack and swung it over his shoulder.

As they dispersed out into the grand corridor of the Temple, both seemed to shun the other's company. Neither one said a word over the voluminous tapping of their heavy boots. Annoyed by this, Obi-wan reached his arm out to Anakin's shoulder causing him to slow his pace to a complete halt.

"Master?" Asked Anakin.

"Look Anakin, I'm sorry for my somewhat scolding behavior back there, but you must realize, you are my apprentice. Which means, I am responsible for your whereabouts at all times." Explained Obi-wan.

"I'm not a little boy anymore, Master. When will you be able to accept that I have grown up?" Questioned Anakin in an agitated tone.
"When you stop acting like one!" Shouted Obi-wan. Not as soon as he did, did Obi-wan regret his demeanor with his young apprentice. Placing both hands on Anakin's shoulders, Anakin was forced to face his Master.

"Anakin, I realize you are no longer a child. I have known this for some time now. Perhaps this is why we struggle in our roles as Master and Apprentice? " Smiled Obi-wan, as he stated his query, as a fact more than a question.

"I'm sorry, Master. Are you agreeing with me?" Questioned Anakin in astonishment.

"In a manner of speaking, yes, I think I am. Just don't get ahead of yourself. I still need to know your comings and goings." Proposed Obi-wan.

Anakin, once again felt the restraints of the Order's restrictions confining him from his ambitions and desires. He had no choice in the matter. Reluctantly, he gave up and nodded in understanding. Once again, the two drifted off into an uncomfortable silence as they neared their destination. As they walked side by side, Anakin's thoughts wandered to the magnificent tower of the grand building 500 Republica. In his mind, a vision of the peaceful angelic form of Padme' was as vibrant as the morning sky, shining above him. Staring out at her Senatorial Suite, he was stricken with heart ache. He felt cheated and dejected from his precious moments with Padme'. As he breathed raggedly with sorrow for his beloved wife, Obi-wan looked on in curious wonder.

"You find comfort with Senator Amidala, don't you Anakin?" Asked Obi-wan, even though he already knew the answer to his query.

" Yes. I .....always have. " Responded Anakin. He found it pointless to deny such an accusation. Anakin knew he couldn't hide his true feelings for her, but he would protect hers, and their undying love, from harm or discovery.

"I suppose the whole galaxy feels this way, as you do. She poses herself as the Mother of Democracy." Agreed Obi-wan, as he proceeded up the ramp to board the Republic Cruiser.

Anakin paused a moment longer, allowing his sights to linger upon the panoramic view of Padme's elaborate balcony. Hoping she had read his letter, could hear his thoughts or feel the love that surrounded his tormented soul, he thought, "I love you like only little children can love something already used and see it as anew. I love you like the love of a family, sharing good times, even though I have known so few. For with you is where my heart belongs, like red on a rose.....I love you, Padme'."

Forbidden Love.....Chapter 15

HOPES FOR THE FUTURE



As dusk approaches the bustling skies of Coruscant, two exhausted lovers patiently await the blanket of darkness to conceal their intimacies from the realities of their universe. Peacefully, they lie in one another's embrace, secluded once more in the confines of Padme's bed chamber. Even though their bodies are well past the point of fatigue, their minds are vibrantly awake with plans for upcoming rendezvous and promising hopes for their future.

Padme' rests her head on Anakin's chest as she fondles his thin, long, padawan braid; twirling it around her long, elegant fingers. Anakin can't help but to smother his face with Padme's thick tousled mane, surrounding himself within her sweet perfume. Both smile as their hopes for happiness are expressed by the other with nothing less than love's eager anticipations.

The hard steel fingers of Anakin's mechanical hand graze gently over the softness of Padme's smooth skin, tracing patterns along the petiteness of her waist and the subtle curves of her hips. These precious moments of intimate devotion now took precedence over anything else of importance in Anakin's life. Though he could not admit this to anyone, especially Obi-wan, he refused to deny it to himself or Padme'; his beloved bride. Now lying with her, entangled within one another's embrace, he was serene.....he was complete.

Lost in his personal and emotional satisfaction he was suddenly overcome by a delicate sensation of sensual warmth that surged through his entire body. Anakin propped his body up on his forearms and tilted his head forward in order to see past the rich ebony of Padme's coiled tendrils. Looking down upon Padme's lush dark curls that covered his chest and abdomen, he discovered the cause for these tantalizing stimulations. Padme' was caressing his strong, smooth chest with her soft, full lips. Welcoming her passions, he dropped back onto the bed and sighed with immense pleasure.

" I don't want to leave in the morning. " Whispered Anakin as he tightened his grip around Padme's body. She paused from her arousing activities and smiled up at Anakin.

" I know, but you must. Besides, I have to attend a meeting. " Announced Padme' in a very casual tone as she resumed her seductive task.

" I know, but it still doesn't change the way I feel. For the first time in ten years, I know what I want....and yet, I know I'm not supposed to WANT for anything. " Sighed Anakin as he pulled Padme' up on top of him. Draping her arms along his shoulders, Padme' hoisted herself upon his chest in order to gaze into the sparkling blue pools of his passionate eyes. She immersed herself into those deeply intense eyes and was immediately adrift in his hungered need for possession. Though her heart desperately wanted to surrender to his desired cravings, Padme' once again allowed her conscious mind to decree; forcing herself to surpass his obsessive longings for open commitment.
" Just because we WANT it, doesn't make it right. " Admitted Padme', painfully.
" Our marriage shouldn't be shunned, Padme'. What we've done isn't immoral! I love you." Protested Anakin. He was frustrated and confused with the Jedi Order. How can something that feels so completely right and natural be perceived as unethical or dishonorable?

" Ani', our Love is not dishonest nor is it immoral. Right now, we need to protect it and you. Maybe someday, when this war is over......we can share our love and openly relish within it. " Smiled Padme', doing her best to comfort him. As the words poured from her heart, glistening specs of tears spilled from her dark, compassionate eyes. She wanted to believe the words she spoke to Anakin. Though they were glazed in comfort, they were also laced in poison of undeniable falsities. There was no doubt that she too longed for the deceit to end and to pronounce their love to her family and the galaxy. That moment would have to wait; it would have to remain a secret until hope would allow their Love's acceptance.

Until then, they would rendezvous in secret at every possible moment and indulge in their forbidden passions. Giving into Anakin's hypnotic gaze, Padme' lowered her body to his and molded herself against his chest. Firmly she pressed her lips to his, immersing herself into his hungered pleasures of entrapment. No longer able to resist his temptations, Padme' surrendered herself completely to his submissions and became Anakin's object of affection; his preciously desired possession.

As darkness finally engulfed the Coruscant sky our lovers drift off into a peaceful and protective slumber. The rest of this magnificent planet was scintillating with manic mayhem of zooming transports and vivacious glitz from towering skyscrapers that encased this glorious city; the Capital of the Republic. Across the landscape of the Ambassadorial Sector was the elusive Jedi Temple. This was the sanctuary that housed those gifted with force abilities and unexplainable, mysterious powers . During the hours of eve, the halls of the Temple seemed silent and tranquil, though this particular night was quite the opposite, for one lone Jedi Knight passed through the grand halls of this sacred monastery.

Obi-wan found himself face to face with Anakin's humble quarters. Staring at it aimlessly, he finally tapped his fist on the door. Patiently he waited, yet no answer came. Shifting his glance from side to side, he waved his hand across the doorway and summoned the locked door to open. Allowing himself passage, he stepped inside and scanned the room. There wasn't much to report on, just the normal modest requirements found amongst the Jedi state rooms; a bunk in the corner, a meager closet containing a week's supply of robes, and a small table and chair for their studies. Sitting himself down on the bunk, he gazed around the room. He saw the protocol droid that Anakin had built when he was a slave on Tatooine. It was in a corner, next to the table and shut down. " What is a JEDI going to do with a protocol droid?" Thought Obi-wan, "not to mention a droid of that caliber." Running his fingers through his long blonde hair, Obi-wan was bewildered as to where his apprentice could have gone off to. As he shifted his weight on the bunk, he heard a slight thud next to his feet on the floor. It was Anakin's back pack. As Obi-wan retrieved the small parcel and placed it back into place on the bunk, something had fallen out. Obi-wan carefully cupped the delicate pink perianth in his hands. Staring at it as if it were foreign to him, he appeared to be entranced by the silken object. Curling his fingers over the tiny petal, Obi-wan closed his eyes in a painful realization. Anakin had chosen a path; he had reached a crucial turning point in his destiny. For he was no longer the mischievous little boy from Tatooine; Anakin was now ....a man.